Sunday, June 22, 2008

Summer Movies

Been a while since I posted. No good reason (not unless you count laziness). So I thought I'd get back in the mix by telling you about some of the movies I've seen this summer. 

Iron Man
Usually I hate superhero stories, but RDJ was brilliant as Tony Stark. Throw in a sexy Gweneth Paltrow and a believably duplicitous Jeff Bridges, and you've got your ten bucks worth. Go see it.

Kung Fu Panda
I've been a huge Jack Black fan ever since I first heard the Tenacious D masterpiece, "F*ck Her Gently". Everything he does makes me laugh like an idiot. Kung Fu Panda was no different. I went with an eight year-old and a thirty year-old, and on the car ride home we took turns doing Jack Black impersonations (none of which were very good). But that's how much we loved it. One word: Skidoosh!

The Happening
This was the worst piece-of-crap I've seen in years.  Seriously, it sucked. It sucked so badly that people in the theater literally laughed out loud at moments that were clearly meant to be dramatic. Like most M. Night Shyamalan films, the viewer is asked to swallow a LOT of implausibilities, but Mark Whalberg as a science teacher? No way, that's asking too much. He can play action heros and porn stars, but not science teachers. Also, John Leguizamo, an actor I tend to like, got a raw deal. In a movie where people are killing themselves in all kinds of interesting (gratuitous) ways, Johnny L gets stuck hacking away at himself with a tiny piece of glass from a broken windshield. And don't worry, that's not a spoiler. I'm certain the whole film will be spoiled for you once the opening credits over. This movie sucks. Don't see it. Buy the DVD and give it to someone you hate. Oh, and for those Haverford guys out there, Shyamalan went to Episcopal. . .EA SUCKS!

Indiana Jones
I saw this tonight with Future Wife. Neither of us knew what to expect, and we were pleasantly surprised with what we got. It wasn't a great film, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it was entertaining as hell. Shia LaBeouff was a little tough to buy as a "greaser", but when you've got an 80 year-old Harrison Ford cracking that whip around, who cares? And of course the action scenes were top-notch - fast-paced, highly-correographed and full of explosions. Just wait until you see those ants! 

That's all I've seen so far. Looking forward to Hancock and  Batman. Wait, did I say I hate superhero stories? Maybe this is what Future Wife means when she says I have no idea what I'm talking about (though she says that pretty much every time I open my mouth). 

_Monkey

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